


Deadpool takes care of Diaz

by Aragorn_II_Elessar



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), Deadpool - All Media Types
Genre: Bieber's music is a cause of death, Comedy, Crack, Diaz sucks, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-22
Updated: 2019-08-22
Packaged: 2020-09-24 04:30:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20352427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aragorn_II_Elessar/pseuds/Aragorn_II_Elessar
Summary: Wade pays Ricardo Diaz a visit to tell him how pathetic he really is. Crack fic.





	Deadpool takes care of Diaz

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Bl4ckHunter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bl4ckHunter/gifts).

> Disclaimer: I do not own Deadpool, Arrow or anything else you may recognize
> 
> This story is a request from Bl4ckHunter and now I'm going to do it finally. Hope everyone enjoys.

Diaz fought his opponent and managed to beat him, breaking his foot. He then walked off as Diaz turned to see Anatoly and Earth-2 Laurel there.

"That is a lot of money for man with bad foot." Anatoly noted.

"I didn't break it. I just had to break him." Diaz said as he walked up to them.

"And I have to break you."

They all turned to see a man in a red and black suit with katanas strapped to his back walk in.

"Who're you?" Diaz asked mockingly, "And you made a mistake coming here."

"I'm Wade Wilson but you can call me Deadpool." Wade said, "And you made a mistake being in this show of all things."

Everyone looked confused as Wade said, "First of all, you have SO much plot armor even Batman would blush and feel jealous! And really, how are you still here?"

"What are you talking about?" Diaz asked, confused.

"If anyone competent was writing this show, you'd be gone by last episode." Wade said, "What has this show come to? And you-"

He pointed at Earth-2 Laurel, "This show is doing wrong by you again. I mean, your non-existent redemption arc hasn't even started yet and this moron here is already trying to get you on his side."

"You call me a mor-"

"But you are one so don't be offended." Wade said before turning to Anatoly, "And what the hell happened to you? You were an honorable man! But in 5x18, suddenly you're a moron all of a sudden. And why the hell did you lose all reason that you're siding with this guy of all people?"

Before Anatoly could respond, Diaz said, "I'm the ultimate crime lord!"

"No, you're a delusional, pathetic loser." Wade said, "You just didn't grow out of your emo phase. At least that's what Aragorn says about you. He was also bullied a bit when he was 15 and fantasized about murdering his bullies, even managing to beat them up at the end of the year. But he grew out of that phase one year later. You, on the other hand, are still in your emo phase. And you aren't worth the High Table's time."

"HOW DARE YOU?!" Diaz exploded as he prepared to bulrush Wade, "I WILL SHOW YOU THAT I'M THE BEST!"

Wade suddenly threw earplugs at Laurel and she caught them. Wade nodded at her and she put them on, even though she was confused.

"I WILL KILL YOU AND THROW YOUR DEAD BODY IN A POOL!" Diaz roared as he rushed Wade.

Suddenly-

"See I never thought that I could walk through fire."

Diaz stopped and along with Anatoly, Laurel and the guards, turned to see who had come.

"I never thought that I could take the burn."

They dropped their jaws and widened their eyes at who they saw. It was Justin Bieber! He walked into the lair, a smug smile on his face along with a mic and a speaker to amplify the sound.

"I never had the strength to take it higher. Until I reached the point of no return."

Diaz and Anatoly were taken aback and involuntarily stepped back. Diaz was sweating heavily at what he was hearing.

"And there's just no turning back. When your heart's under attack."

Diaz screamed and covered his ears but to no avail.

"Gonna give everything I have. It's my destiny."

Diaz involuntarily put her hands down, sensing something was about to happen. Everyone was in a state of disbelief.

"I will NEVER SAY NEVER! I WILL FIGHT TILL FOREVER!"

At this point, his mind went into overdrive and he screamed at his men to kill Bieber. They fired at him but the bullets disintegrated near him due to his horrible music. Anatoly fell on the ground, crying as Laurel looked around at the chaos that had overtaken everyone.

"Whenever you knock me down. I will not stay on the ground."

Hearing the music, the leader of the thugs fainted and another one rushed to his aid.

"Pick it up. Pick it up. Pick it up. Pick it up, up, up. And never say never."

Diaz was covering his ears and crying now while some more thugs fainted.

Bieber then did something horrifying. He sang Jaden Smith's part of the song.

"Here we go! Guess who? Jsmith and JB! I gotcha little bro. I can handle him. Hold up, all right?"

As he sang that, Bieber pointed at Diaz who was a crying mess on the floor along with Anatoly. That moment, Wade walked up to Anatoly, who looked up with tears in his eyes.

Wade then said, "You can regain your honor."

With that, he put earplugs in Anatoly's ears and he nodded gratefully, deciding to redeem himself.

Bieber pointed at Diaz and continued his song.

"I can handle him. Now he's bigger than me. Taller than me. And he's older than me. And stronger than me. And his arms a little bit longer than me. But he ain't on a JB song with me!"

Diaz was crawling on the floor, "Please! Stop this!"

Wade said to Bieber, "Now, apologize to him."

Bieber got the hint and changed the music.

"Is it too late now to say sorry? 'Cause I'm missing more than just your body."

Diaz's eyes widened in horror as he started pounding his fist on the ground.

"Ooooh, oooooh, sorry!"

One of the thugs shot himself and Diaz screamed.

"Ooooh, oooooh, sorry!"

Bang. Another thug dead.

"Ooooh, oooooh, sorry!"

The leader of the thugs had just woken up and on hearing that, stumbled and hit his head hard, knocking himself out again.

"Ooooh, oooooh, sorry!"

One by one, Diaz's security detail killed themselves as Diaz screamed and crawled back, hoping to find reprieve though there was none.

"Yeah, I know that I let you down. Is it too late to say I'm sorry now?"

Diaz screamed, horror like he had never felt before coursing through his body. And then he snapped his own neck, falling down, dead.

"Yes!" Bieber said, "Diaz got what he deserved."

Wade turned to Earth-2 Laurel and putting his hands near his mouth, gestured and mimicked a scream. Laurel got the hint and unleashed her Canary Cry on Bieber.

It threw him into a wall and killed him.

"And that, people, is how Bieber got a taste of his own medicine."

**Author's Note:**

> And done.
> 
> Hope everyone enjoyed.


End file.
